I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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