He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize