return my video game
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
