He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
smell my finger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
