a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
