somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
