how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
