i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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