I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i think i just lost a toe
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
