My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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