i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
