we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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