Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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