he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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