I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
