she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
