thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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