My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
