please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
