are you still at the devil's house?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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