I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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