i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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