Me. At least after what I've been through.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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