YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
