She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
