He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
