Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
