Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
