are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
