wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
