If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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