She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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