Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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