Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
