Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
