Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
