you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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