how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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