im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
