we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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