okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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