i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
