I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
