yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
