I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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