do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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