I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
