I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
