I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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