OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize
