I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
