we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
did i just pee glitter
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