I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
