Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
