someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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