i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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