i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
