Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
