so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
