think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
