yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
