ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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