my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
